Essay about motherland
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Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)*Autodidactism (self-education)
In 2012, my parents decided that it was time for us to leave Qatar and move to Egypt.It wasn't easy for me to live apart from my father, and I never thought that after spending there 13 years of my life, the storms could take me to my motherland, Egypt, but it happened. I lived in a countryside where people's mindset and tradition were the polar opposite of mines.
I attended school for the first two months; teachers were consistently following the method of indoctrination in teaching students. Compelling me to learn from their notes and to solve LOTS of past papers. Furthermore, their notes contained whole texts which had no technical relevance to the syllabus.To the point, where many of my friends traveled to Cairo and Alexandria specifically to enroll in courses provided by more qualified teachers. Unfortunately, I had no accommodation at that time in Cairo, so I decided to purchase the necessary textbooks for each subject I registered for to start my self-studying journey; It took a while to convince my parents at first, but they finally respected my decision and encouraged me all the way. I self-studied throughout my years in high school. Although there were plenty of resources to refer to on the internet, it took me a tremendous amount of time to sort out the ones that served my needs and eliminate other resources that were either too simple or too sophisticated. At days I progressed, some speedily, some steadily, some with pauses. Having misconceptions was regularly common, I struggled many times with not finding a resource that could unravel the knots of certain topics. However, I ended up scoring good marks on most of the subjects
The idea of challenge that you brought in this essay has imbalance portion of discussion. You are told to "Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? ". I have read the essay and I am quite sure that your outline might look like this:
- 1st challenge = people's mindset & tradition were the opposite of yours
- 1st effort to manage the situation = no clear explanation
- 2nd challenge = the notes had no technical relevance to the syllabus and no accommodation
- 2nd effort to manage the situation = self-studying by buying textbooks
- 3rd challenge = struggled many times and didn't find the resource
- 3rd effort to manage the situation = no clear explanation. It seems to the reader like it was really surprising to reach good marks on most subjects.
From the above-description, I suggest you to revise the essay in a clearer way that somehow your challenge(s) can be managed well by you. Yet, something that actually still bothers me is the prompt itself. It is pretty clear that it should be "THE MOST SIGNIFICANT CHALLENGE" which means not more than one. It needs to be specific on 'the most significant challenge' only, not the others. I am afraid that you have unconsciously gone out of the prompt. Just think about it and make some revisions based on my feedback.
What I was trying to emphasize was my self-studying journey throughout high school by showing the reader my reasons on why I took such decision and the difficulties I faced during that time. So I don't know why is it that what I wrote is irrelevant to what the question is asking for.
It is not something that irrelevant mate, it is just you add more information that is unnecessary. Also, you missed some important points that should be elaborated. Try to differentiate what I have just said earlier. For instance, in the first paragraph, you have mentioned the first challenge about the people but then you just left it out without any elaboration. I am quite sure that you need to also explain how you manage the situation of the people in the place that you moved in. Then, in the last part of the second paragraph, it seems a little bit jumpy because you wrote a clear challenge about your struggle, but you didn't explain the reason why did you finally come up with good marks on each subject. Therefore, I can say there are two major things that are problematical in your essay. However, apart from those, you might need to take a closer look on the prompt again. It says 'the most significant challenge' and not 'the most significant challenges'. This means it needs to be only one challenge, not more than one like you have written above.
Nevertheless, this is just my opinion or feedback related to your essay. It is not necessary to be considered anyway. I hope that I am able to help. It is still your decision whether to accept this or not.
Should I remove this part "people's mindset & tradition were the opposite of yours". I added this after my sentence which starts with "having misconceptions.." Although I was going through pain while studying, being exposed to different resources helped me develop my concepts as each resource represents the concept in a different way where one resource could make me understand something in a better way than the other. How can I come up with a closing sentence that includes scoring good marks
I am of a different opinion on this matter. Due to the fact that your previous response already spoke of your ability to self-study, you should choose another topic to discuss. Remember that these essays are preliminary interviews. These are your first chances to impress the reviewer with your qualities both as a student and as a person. So the reviewer looks for versatility or a variation in the way that you respond to the questions. He wants to get to know more about you beyond your academic abilities. Therefore, you need to vary your responses accordingly. That means, use an academic response for some and personal responses for others. In this instance, the prompt is asking for a more personal response as an indication of the kind of person that you are and student that you can be. Based upon how you handled a situation that is out of your comfort zone. This is not the time to discuss another academic problem. This is the time to show a personal resolve or strength so that the reviewer can get to know you on a more personal basis. In my opinion. You need to change the topic of your discussion to something more character building and less academically concerned. This is just my opinion though. If you want to continue using this essay then that is fine as well.
Carnegie was one of several, famous, self-made American millionaires of the late 19 th century. His public philanthropy reflected his idealism and a sense of noblesse oblige and responsibility toward the welfare of society. Carnegie's philosophy of business ethics was well-known and admired by many. The huge Carnegie fortune, made in the steel industry, provided the funds for the establishment of public libraries in various parts of the United States. as well as the philanthropic Carnegie Foundation. The following essay is the first chapter of his book, The Gospel of Wealth, published in 1900, in which he expounded the idea that the accumulation of riches was stewardship of wealth that ultimately should benefit society.
How I Served My Apprenticeship
It is a great pleasure to tell how I served my apprenticeship as a businessman. But there seems to be a question preceding this: Why did I become a business man? I am sure that I should never have selected a business career if I had been permitted to choose.
The eldest son of parents who were themselves poor, I had, fortunately, to begin to perform some useful work in the world while still very young in order to earn an honest livelihood, and was thus shown even in early boyhood that my duty was to assist my parents and, like them, become, as soon as possible, a bread-winner in the family.
What I could get to do, not what I desired, was the question.
When I was born my father was a well-to-do master weaver in Dunfermline. Scotland. He owned no less than four damask-looms and employed apprentices. This was before the days of steam-factories for the manufacture of linen. A few large merchants took orders, and employed master weavers, such as my father, to weave the cloth, the merchants supplying the materials.
As the factory system developed, hand-loom weaving naturally declined, and my father was one of the sufferers by the change. The first serious lesson of my life came to me one day when he had taken in the last of his work to the merchant, and returned to our little home greatly distressed because there was no more work for him to do. I was then just about ten years of age, but the lesson burned into my heart, and I resolved then that the wolf of poverty should be driven from our door some day, if I could do it.
The question of selling the old looms and starting for the United States came up in the family council, and I heard it discussed from day to day. It was finally resolved to take the plunge and join relatives already in Pittsburg. I well remember that neither father nor mother thought the change would be otherwise than a great sacrifice for them, but that "it would be better for the two boys." In after life, if you can look back as I do and wonder at the complete surrender of their own desires which parents make for the good of their children, you must reverence their memories with feelings akin to worship.
On arriving in Allegheny City (there were four of us: father, mother, my younger brother, and myself), my father entered a cotton factory. I soon followed, and served as a "bobbin-boy," and this is how I began my preparation for subsequent apprenticeship as a business man. I received one dollar and twenty cents a week, and was then just about twelve years old.
I cannot tell you how proud I was when I received my first week's own earnings. One dollar and twenty cents made by myself and given to me because I had been of some use in the world! No longer entirely dependent upon my parents, but at last admitted to the family partnership as a contributing member and able to help them! I think this makes a man out of a boy sooner than almost anything else, and a real man, too, if there be any germ of true manhood in him. It is everything to feel that you are useful.
I have had to deal with great sums. Many millions of dollars have since passed through my hands. But the genuine satisfaction I had from that one dollar and twenty cents outweighs any subsequent pleasure in money-getting. It was the direct reward of honest, manual labour; it represented a week of very hard work - so hard that, but for the aim and end which sanctified it, slavery might not be much too strong a term to describe it.
For a lad of twelve to rise and breakfast every morning, except the blessed Sunday morning, and go into the streets and find his way to the factory and begin to work while it was still dark outside, and not be released until after darkness came again in the evening, forty minutes' interval only being allowed at noon, was a terrible task. But I was young and had my dreams, and something within always told me that this would not, could not, should not last -- I should some day get into a better position. Besides this, I felt myself no longer a mere boy, but quite a little man, and this made me.
A change soon came, for a kind old Scotsman, who knew some of our relatives, made bobbins, and took me into his factory before I was thirteen. But here for a time it was even worse than in the cotton factory, because I was set to fire a boiler in the cellar, and actually to run the small steam-engine which drove the machinery. The firing of the boiler was all right, for fortunately we did not use coal, but the refuse wooden chips; and I always liked to work in wood. But the responsibility of keeping the water right and of running the engine, and the danger of my making a mistake and blowing the whole factory to pieces, caused too great a strain, and I often awoke and found myself sitting up in bed through the night, trying the steam-gauges. But I never told them at home that I was having a hard tussle. No, no! everything must be bright to them.
This was a point of honour, for every member of the family was working hard, except, of course, my little brother, who was then a child, and we were telling each other only all the bright things. Besides this, no man would whine and give up - he would die first. There was no servant in our family, and several dollars per week were earned by the mother by binding shoes after her daily work was done! Father was also hard at work in the factory. And could I complain?
My kind employer, John Hay -- peace to his ashes! -- soon relieved me of the undue strain, for he needed some one to make out bills and keep his accounts, and finding that I could write a plain school-boy hand and could "cipher," he made me his only clerk. But still I had to work hard upstairs in the factory, for the clerking took but little time. You know how people moan about poverty as being a great evil, and it seems to be accepted that if people had only plenty of money and were rich, they would be happy and more useful, and get more out of life.
As a rule, there is more genuine satisfaction, a truer life, and more obtained from life in the humble cottages of the poor than in the palaces of the rich. I always pity the sons and daughters of rich men. who are attended bv servants. and have governesses at a later age, but am glad to remember that they do not know what they have missed.
They have kind fathers and mothers, too, and think that they enjoy the sweetness of these blessings to the fullest: but this they cannot do; for the poor boy who has in his father his constant companion, tutor, and model, and in his mother - holy name! - his nurse, teacher, guardian angel, saint, all in one, has a richer, more precious fortune in life than any rich man's son who is not so favoured can possibly know, and compared with which all other fortunes count for little.
It is because I know how sweet and happy and pure the home of honest poverty is, how free from perplexing care, from social envies and emulations, how loving and how united its members may be in the common interest of supporting the family, that I sympathise with the rich man's boy and congratulate the poor man's boy; and it is for these reasons that from the ranks of the poor so many strong, eminent, self-reliant men have always sprung and always must spring.
If you will read the list of the immortals who "were not born to die," you will find that most of them have been born to the precious heritage of poverty.
It seems, nowadays, a matter of universal desire that poverty should be abolished.
We should be quite willing to abolish luxury, but to abolish honest, industrious, self-denying poverty would be to destroy the soil upon which mankind produces the virtues which enable our race to reach a still higher civilisation than it now possesses.
Questions for Discussion
1. What did Carnegie feel to be his duty toward his parents?
2. What kind of family life did Carnegie have while growing up in Scotland. Why did his family emigrate to the United States.
3. What effect did his first week's salary have on Carnegie?
4. What dreams did Carnegie have as a young boy of twelve?
5. How did Carnegie's work of firing the boiler in a factory affect him?
6. What does Carnegie have to say about poverty's being an evil? Are there benefits from poverty?
7. How did Carnegie regard his parents?
1. Compare Carnegie's "ambitions" to some of the ideas expressed by Joseph Epstein in his essay on ambition.
2. Epstein mentions Carnegie's special generosity toward Lord Acton. Do some of Carnegie's comments help explain this act of philanthropy?
3. Do you agree with Carnegie's "philosophy" concerning work and poverty? Explain.
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